But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
