Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
