The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
