the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm too high and old for this...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
