She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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