my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Randomize
