nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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