Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This is my gift to your gina
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize