I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
