everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
