i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
