It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize