had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
