he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
