i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
