im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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