I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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