Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
