I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize