To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
it's like iHOP with fire
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just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
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he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
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