ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
