You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
