Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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