yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
