I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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