It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
