I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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