im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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