who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
zippers are such a cool invention
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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