i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
