He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
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I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice