My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
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He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
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Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me