I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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