Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me