i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my being single is dangerous.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
