TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.