U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
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The entire state will know me by my boobs.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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