so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
