Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
This toilet bowl is my home.
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