I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Bring me that man meat
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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