just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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