My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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