in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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