I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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