nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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