where am i from again
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
