using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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