She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
