and you said cock pushups were impossible
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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