me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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