i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
