I think I am morally bankrupt
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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