I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
