How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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