Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
It was confusing and full of hummus
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
