omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
