I have demons in me.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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