Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
