dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
