I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
