You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
