I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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