my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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