I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
