You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
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I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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