Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
