my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
