I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I am naked and annoyed.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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