: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
